I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
