it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
