Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
