He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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