I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
