I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Success! We fucked roommates!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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