I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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