if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I think a kid would responsible me up
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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