Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
