with your own penis?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
