i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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