those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Randomize
