The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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