C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Randomize
