Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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