I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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