I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm both gender and math confused
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
