I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
