I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
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