highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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