I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
