I wannas sexs uuuuu
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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