party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
