Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
