Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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