Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
bring money and cleavage
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
