I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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