Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
