I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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