jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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