I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
