I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
