I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
