her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
