you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
