She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
