haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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