thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize