even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
