so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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