When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Randomize
