Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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