Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
