And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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