I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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