At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
