when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
