I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
