Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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