you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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