every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
