Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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