Your dad touched me again.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
