So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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