How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
