Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
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