stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
