He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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