i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
